Glimmers: Cues of Safety, Connection, Joy, and Peace
Glimmers: Cues of Safety, Connection, Joy, and Peace - Written by Jourdan Tymkow
The smell of cut grass, feeling the warmth of the sun, seeing a rainbow, or enjoying a cozy warm
beverage – these sweet little moments of life can bring feelings of warmth, joy, and peace, especially
when feeling overwhelmed or stressed. In noticing these little moments that often pass by us without
much attention – what clinical social worker and Polyvagal theory practitioner, Deb Dana, calls
“glimmers” – we can begin to reshape our nervous system from primarily experiencing stress or
dysregulation towards experiencing more safety and joy.
The idea of a glimmer is that it is the exact opposite of a trigger, both of which are cues for the body
to shift nervous system responses towards safety. While triggers are cues that move the body into
states of flight, flight, freeze, or fawn to protect against a dangerous situation (accurate or not),
glimmers are cues of moving towards connection, calm, and openness.
The brain has evolved over many generations of ancestors to scan environments for cues of danger,
which primes us to recognize triggers fairly quickly. Without this ability, our species wouldn’t have
survived thousands of years of challenging experiences. Yet, this hardwired ability to keep ourselves
safe often overrides the ability to notice and appreciate glimmers, which can help us to develop a
more balanced perspective of our lives and increase our experiences of joy and gratitude.
Glimmers can look different for each individual, but common themes include noticing something
enjoyable, beautiful, or soothing in the environment or being with a loved one or friendly face. You
can begin to look for glimmers by doing a ground activity or setting an intention for the day to notice
a certain number of them. Then, notice when you feel a spark of safety, joy, connection, or peace and
find a way to stop and appreciate it, which can be done by just mentally noting “glimmer” or placing
your hand on heart when you see one. Alternatively, journaling the glimmers you noticed at the end of
the day, keeping track of each one you notice with a note in your phone, or sharing with a friend can
also help to reinforce positive noticings, feelings, and sensations.
If you are struggling to identify any glimmers, consider thinking about what made you feel safe and
happy as a child, think about how you feel being with a loved one, or picture a real or imagined
moment of peace. Even just imagining your glimmers has nearly the same effect on the brain and can
help to prime your nervous system to being open to recognizing a glimmer or two out in the world. If
glimmers continue to feel inaccessible, working with a qualified mental health practitioner, such as
the psychologists at the Grief and Trauma Healing Centre, can help support you in creating a
personalized roadmap towards increasing your ability to notice and feel glimmers. Whether you
notice one or fifty in a day, the practice of noticing glimmers increases your capacity to notice more
and strengthens your capacity for safety, connection, joy, and peace.
References
Blanchfield, T. (2023, May 8). How a glimmer triggers feelings of joy and safety. Verywell Mind.
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-glimmer-5323168
Dana, D. (2018). Polyvagal exercises for safety and connection. Norton.
Blog Written by Jourdan Tymkow
Jourdan Tymkow is a Master of Counselling Clinical Intern on our team.
Grief has been a close companion throughout much of my life – losses through human and animal deaths, relational partings, significant identity and worldview shifts, and heartache prompted by legacies of colonialism and climate change lived heavily within me for many years. These sticky feelings and perspectives diminished my sense of vitality, belonging, and openness, which were compounded by traumatic experiences that made me want to protect myself from the world at all costs. It wasn’t until I started my own therapeutic journey that I began to metabolize my grief and trauma safely and be able to live my life with a sense of expansion, peacefulness, play, and open-heartedness. This has led me to my passion and purpose - holding space for others in their shifting of grief and trauma. - Jourdan