Paw Prints on the Heart: Healing From Animal Loss
Animals play a key role in many of our lives. From dogs to cats to horses and other critters, animals often bring joy and happiness in daily living. For many people, grief resulting from a change or end in a human-animal relationship can often be profound.
Many animal lovers experience animal deaths due to their limited life spans yet there is little discussion of other types of losses regarding animals. The Grief Recovery Method Handbook lists over 40 types of losses, all which end or change the relationship. Within human-animal relationships, this can mean changes in ownership or living situations, family re-structuring due to divorce or separation, re-homing, and at times experiences of animals running away. Whichever type of loss, they all cause significant pain and hardship.
Despite the immense information about grief (especially regarding death of a loved one), there is very limited useful information about grief from an animal relationship. Due to this, the world is often ill-equipped to respond and deal with such an event. As a psychologist, animal loss is often concern I discuss with my clients---many of them unsure how to deal with such a loss. Below is a detailed guide that will hopeful provide you (or a loved one) with some suggestions on healing from animal loss.
Step 1: Amp up the self-care.
Life is known to throw curveballs and for many of us, this causes additional stress and discomfort. Just like any other transitions, self-care is key to supporting yourself through grief. Self-care takes many forms but can often be divided into emotional, physical, spiritual, social, mental, and preventative categories. At times, we may need to rely on our supports to help us engage in self-care.
Step 2: Get educated about grief.
Grief can be defined as the conflicting feelings due to the end or change of a familiar pattern of behavior. It is a normal, natural process that can present as uniquely as your relationship with your animal. There are also a number of “myths” associated with grief, many of which apply to animal loss including “don’t feel bad”, “replace the loss” and “time heals all wounds”. In order to heal from the emotional pain from grief, we must validate our feelings and take action to heal.
Step 3: Take action toward healing.
Healing can look different for everyone. For some people, this means talking about and sharing memories about their animals or honoring the relationship through funerals, rituals, or memorials. Action can also look like engaging in counselling or supportive groups/sessions such as the Grief Recovery Method. This may also be engaging in reading or accessing materials to learn and work through your pain. A great book for this is “The Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss” by Russell Friedman, Cole James, and John W. James.
My hope is this blog provided you with some ideas to support yourself or a loved one through animal loss. I encourage you to reach out for counselling services through The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre for any support with animal or other types of losses.
Blog Written by Justine Elliot
Justine is a Registered Psychologist, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, and EMDR Clinician at The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre. She works with clients of all ages, including children, youth, and adults. Justine regularly runs educational and psychotherapy groups and enjoys professional speaking, facilitating debriefs, workshops, consultation, and training events along with contributing to blog posts at The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre. Justine currently sits on the board of directors for the Canadian Association for Play Therapy (CAPT). She is also an animal lover, with involvement in local rescues around Edmonton and spending time with her own rescue pup, Maple.
To learn more about Justine or to work with her click here.