Part Two of Three: Pulling Off The Armour: Why Unmasking in ADHD Can Help Us

This is part two of a three-part series on masking and unmasking in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (also called ADHD and referred to as a Neurodivergency).

ADHD and the Mask

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. It is characterized by symptoms such as difficulty focusing, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. However, what many people don't know is that ADHD can also lead to a phenomenon called "masking," where individuals with ADHD may hide or downplay their symptoms in order to fit in with societal expectations and avoid judgement or rejection.

Masking can take many forms, such as constantly apologizing for perceived mistakes, overworking to compensate for difficulties with time management, or even avoiding social situations altogether. People with ADHD may feel pressure to conform to the expectations of others, leading them to suppress their true selves and potentially exacerbating their symptoms.
Masking can be both protective and can prevent us from knowing and showing who we truly are.

As a teenager and younger adult, I found that one of the ways that my masking showed up was through anxiety in social situations. I didn’t understand why I felt so activated in social settings and wanted to stay quiet in a corner or leave silently and quickly. I discovered that this is partly due to experiencing sensory overstimulation – a lot of different sounds and lighting can lead to high anxiety and even migraines. Another discovery I made (through Psychoeducational testing), is that my auditory processing can suffer in these situations. Therefore, my social anxiety was also about not being able to participate in social conversations in a proficient or acceptable way. Finally, I realized that I often override my body’s natural inclinations to move often. It is hard cognitive work and takes a toll on the body to try and ignore and then limit these urges, instead of follow them through. All of this makes being social hard at times. The mask I wore included anxiety and internal self talk that kept me quiet and still to fit in and avoid judgement.

What is Unmasking? 

Unmasking, on the other hand, involves acknowledging and accepting one's ADHD symptoms as a natural part of oneself. This can be a difficult process, as it involves breaking down years of ingrained behaviors and coping mechanisms. However, unmasking can also be incredibly empowering, allowing individuals to embrace their unique strengths and adapt their environments to better suit their needs. In a greater context, unmasking can be beneficial for all of us, whether neurodivergent or nerurotypical.

Years ago, when I began to unmask, I noticed that the social anxiety I felt mostly faded away. However, this then caused ADHD “symptoms” to become more noticeable to me. Some of these “symptoms” I consider to be struggles (like time management and organization issues), and some of the “symptoms” are traits in me that are beautiful and natural. I became more aware of these struggles and traits, The struggles I worked to find strategies for and the traits I learned to embrace as part of who I am.

What are the benefits of unmasking? 

Unmasking can be a beautiful, yet difficult and vulnerable process. There is some research that shows that unmasking with ADHD, as well as unmasking for everybody, is highly beneficial for wellbeing. Here is what the research is reporting about unmasking:

·       It can lead to more understanding and better support from others. One study has shown that unmasking can lead to increased understanding and support from others, particularly for children (Weiss & Murray, 2003). Another study found that unmasking can lead to greater accommodations and support in the workplace (Madaan et al., 2013).

·       Increased self esteem. Another study found unmasking can increase self esteem and reduce the feelings of shame that some individuals carry around ADHD (Knouse & Safren, 2010).

·       Reduced stress. A study by Surman et al. (2010) found that adults with ADHD who disclosed their diagnosis reported reduced stress and anxiety in the workplace. They also reported feeling more comfortable and confident in their ability to manage their symptoms.

·       Increased self-awareness: Unmasking can lead to increased self-awareness and a better understanding of one's core self. According to a study by Stiles and Shapiro (1994), individuals who engage in self-disclosure are more likely to develop a clearer sense of self and greater self-esteem.

·       Improved relationships: Unmasking can also improve relationships by allowing individuals to be more authentic and vulnerable. A study by Reis and Shaver (1988) found that individuals who disclose more personal information in their relationships experience greater intimacy and satisfaction.

·       Greater psychological well-being: Research suggests that individuals who are able to express their true selves experience greater psychological well-being. According to a study by Ryan and Deci (2000), individuals who feel a sense of authenticity in their lives are more likely to experience positive emotions and a sense of purpose.

·       Improved decision-making: Unmasking can also lead to improved decision-making by allowing individuals to make choices that align with their core values and beliefs. According to a study by Sheldon and Elliot (1999), individuals who are able to express their true selves are more likely to make choices that lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.

·       Better coping with loss. In a study by Neimeyer et al. (2018), the authors explored the role of unmasking in coping with loss. They found that individuals who were able to express their true selves and emotions were more likely to experience positive growth and adjustment following their loss. Another study examining bereaved individuals highlighted the importance of unmasking in participant’s experiences of grief (Maciejewski et al. 2016). Participants described the benefits of being able to express their true feelings and experiences, and the challenges of feeling the need to hide or suppress their emotions.

Once I ummasked, I noticed that I was able to be much more mindful and present in my life in general. It’s as if the mask creates a layer between you and the world that makes it so much harder to be present. When old strategies and defenses started to creep in, the core of who I am would not let those strategies work in the same way. For example, when I had the desire to override my body’s need to move, to attempt to sit still and hold my body tight, I was so mindfully aware of why being still is not helpful for me, that I had to get up and move! Also, I noticed that I was unable to accept any situation or person that is not a good fit for who I am. When you know your worth, it’s difficult to accept any less.

Part 1 of this blog examined what unmasking is, and part 2 revealed the benefits of it. Yet the question remains, how do we do it? How do we go about recognizing the mask, recognizing our true selves, and then doing hard work of pulling the mask off, and letting it fall to the floor? Part 3 will dive more into this difficult and beautiful process – how we can do it and what it feels like.

Sources:

Knouse, L. E., & Safren, S. A. (2010). Current status of cognitive behavioral therapy for adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Psychiatric Clinics, 33(3), 497-509.

Maciejewski, P. K., Zhang, B., Block, S. D., & Prigerson, H. G. (2016). An empirical examination of the stage theory of grief. JAMA, 315(11), 1141-1149. 

Madaan, V., Sumner, L. A., & Quinn, P. O. (2013). Disclosure of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and its impact on workplace performance. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 18(3), 303-310.

Neimeyer, R. A., Burke, L. A., & Bonnelle, K. (2018). Unmasking the dialogical self: Exploring the impact of loss and trauma on the self-concept. In C. T. Fischer & L. G. Holmstrom (Eds.), The handbook of dialogical self theory (pp. 323-342). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Reis, H. T., & Shaver, P. (1988). Intimacy as an interpersonal process. In S. Duck (Ed.), Handbook of personal relationships (pp. 367-389). Chichester: John Wiley & Sons.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.

Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482-497.

Stiles, W. B., & Shapiro, D. A. (1994). Self-disclosure and therapeutic change. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Surman, C. B., Hammerness, P. G., Pion, K., Faraone, S. V., & Wilens, T. E. (2010). Adults with ADHD and workplace accommodations: a qualitative study. Journal of Attention Disorders, 13(2), 157-166.

Weiss, M., & Murray, C. (2003). Assessment and management of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in children. The Lancet, 361(9351), 237-248.

Blog Written by Erin Newman

Erin Newman is a Registered Psychologist, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, EMDR Clinician, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner on our clinical team.

Erin works from a holistic and trauma informed approach that looks through the lens of attachment theory, which examines how our childhood relationships shape our emotional world. Within this framework, she infuses many different strategies to support a variety of concerns, including relationship breakdown and loss, trauma, anxiety, depression, fertility, parenting struggles, and more. Erin’s way of viewing wellness and healing tends to be spiritual, artful, and somatic. Her aim is for you to feel seen and heard throughout the therapy process and to work toward the feeling of genuine connection and fulfillment.

To learn more about Erin or to book a session with her, click here.